So I’ve had the contraption on most of the day. Dad decided he was feeling sorry for me so he took it off. I was busily chewing on my bone and while Dad was taking time to talk to Mom I snuck to the back of the house and found the bathroom door left open – I was SOOO happy – my favorite fiber was left unattended. I was let out of jail – and we know that payback’s a …..
So then Dad puts the contraption back on my face so as he was trying to fall asleep I decided to body slam him to the mattress. As he was screaming for Mom to help she said “see I told you he knows the difference between his bed and our bed.” She’s smarter than us boys.
puppyperryspate 
Puppy Perry,
You remind me so much of my first dog Sadie. She got into a LOT of trouble just like you. We called her torpedo puppy because she would run full speed through the house and jump on the bed and lick my ears to get me up. Eventually Sadie became an awesome dog…after about 2 or 3 years. Be nice to your parent unit in the mean time. Pinning your dad to the bed and licking his face is perfectly acceptable behavior.
Uncle Pat
Mom says she is REALLY happy to hear that since I am wearing her way thin Uncle Pat!
Tell your mom that puppies are easier than teenagers.
EXACTLY!
amen to the puppy easier than teenager comment! at least you don’t get eye rolls, sighs- oh I take that back, Taz has the sigh down quite well, but his is cute! and for sure, after 2-3 yrs, it gets much much easier!
With children it takes 13 years to get to those enjoyable teenage years and six years of eye rolling to get them to adulthood. With Perry it will take less than two years to get to the teenage years and it is all over in less than one year. Real kids total cars. Perry only totals toilet paper. Plus with Perry you can lock him in his crate when he is bad or you want to go out for dinner. Do that to a child and you’re in BIG trouble. Cousin Maggie is almost two and doing much better. If you want, we can trade Perry for a teenager? On second thought, our youngest teenager turns twenty in September…
Pitiful Perry,
You are digging a deep hole for yourself. Hopefully your parents will have the patience to realize that you won’t become the perfect dog until you are between 2-3 years old. In the meantime, the sooner that you smarten up and behave, the more treats that you can squirrel away for a rainy day. Parents don’t reward bad behavior, Perry. Ask your buddies (or cousins) how they survived: The arrogant German Shepard will pretend that he is just smarter than everyone else. The cutsie little pocket pups will rely on their toy-like charm to get by. The designer dogs will claim that since they cost more than everyone else that they are privileged. The rescue dogs are just so happy that someone loves them, they actually are motivated to behave for fear they will be sent back to the shelter (or worse).
Perry, temper your unbridled enthusiasm and impulsive behavior. What will it be… a pampered life or a life of punishment. Pick a path and make it right. Your existence depends upon it.