Woe is ME!

I am not happy.  I’ve tried to put up with all these contraptions and make everyone feel sorry for me and it is just not working.  I believe I have 5 more days of having this THING on my face.  I’m halfway through it but it’s not helping me in any way.

Dad felt sorry for me while he was making his lunch today so he took it off for a few minutes – I took my chance and pulled his whole sandwich off the table – tuna/avocado and all – so I had to go back to the constraints.  I overheard them talking last night about how much calmer I am with the contraption ON and perhaps they should incorporate it regularly in the house.  Really….could that be happening…is this some sort of nightmare?

When I got up this morning I tried to give Dad some extra LEAN-IN’s but Mom said that was not a good idea since I might get used to being in their bed.  Dad said Perry is smart enough – he knows the difference between his bed and our bed.  Mom said – yes, he knows the difference and there lies the problem so here I am in the corner giving myself a time out.

First they Take My Manhood and Now This

Well I found it kind of odd that Dad started covering all the wood furniture in the house.  Apparently my plastic collar is hurting the house so Dad was grumbling about spending his retirement to get me more stuff at the store.

I am not happy with this setup either.  I can’t chew bricks, take shoes outside and I am REALLY upset that the toilet paper is out of my reach.  They are taking ALL my fun away!  I feel like I should put this on HIS face.

I look like a stupid football linebacker.  Tomorrow I’ll probably have kneepads.  I’ll keep you posted but this surgery thing has really put a wrench in my healthy lifestyle.