Summer Solstice and Chasing my tail…

photoI have been getting in a little trouble lately.  You see there is this young squirrel and birds in the back yard that taunt me and make me crazy.  The squirrel runs back and forth on the fence, jumping from tree to tree and it makes me a barking mess.

Then those baby birds dive bomb me and really get me going.  So you know I have been really learning the word CRATE.  A dog has to protect the house, but I guess I make too much noise doing it.  I make such a racket that people are avoiding walking in the front of our yard to prevent my protective meltdowns.  Only if they knew my real self  – that I am a huge teddy bear and if someone actually came in the house I would lick their face.

As with all our weeks things just keep getting busier.  I always know things are crazy when I spend more time at my new favorite hangout The Wags.  It is a pretty cool place but we are outside and it does get more than hot.

Mom has been preparing for all of her speaking things.  She is conducting 5 Motivational Speaking trainings over the next 2 months.  Wow!  We are getting the office ready for 2 this week and the other 3 are for the government.   Maybe one day I can go to the White House.

Dad has been working pretty often with his clients in Hollywood.  Even though he was busy shopping in Beverly Hills for one of his clients, he stopped at Sprinkles and got me my very own doggie cupcake.  Can you believe how small it was? I was in heaven since it was so delicious!  Mom said I should have eaten it more mindfully since it was rather expensive but I told her it was only half a bite for me so why bother?

My foot owie is better but I know have some problem growths on my neck so I will need to go back to see Dr. Palmquist.  I so like him but it would be nice to be all better.

OK – this blog is too long and I have to get going and patrol the yard.  I don’t want that squirrel or his bird friends to take it over.

Peace!

Enhanced Living Through Supplements

I stayed home today with Mom.  She had a lot of work to do and I realized I needed to keep it under a little better control than when I’m with Dad.  It was hot so getting into trouble was really more bother than usual.

Somehow I did feel better and I overheard Mom tell Dad that she was giving me “Brain Calm” to help me be less anxious.  She also put inositol in my water.  It really did work but I’m not sure I like being classified as needing medication to behave.  Maybe I should rethink the naughtiness and decide to be a good dog after all.  It might make my life easier around the Dopart-Batchelor household….

The Race for Payback is in FULL Force

Mom got up early like she normally does and went to the gym.  I’m not allowed to sleep on their bed – ONLY on my big boy bed.

However, this morning Dad was sleeping very soundly so after Mom left I carefully got on the bed as to not disturb him.  He was smiling thinking Mom had stayed home and was snuggling with him.  You see I was really smart and laid with my back pressed to him.  It seemed like I got to lay there forever and then Dad reached over to put his hand on Mom and realized it was me.  Boy that voice was louder than any alarm clock!  But I did not give up without a proper fight.  I just became dead weight and leaned into him.  I thought I had pinned him down as he was yelling all the time trying to get out from under me.

I nearly claimed gold but at last he won and got me off.  I guess it was good while it lasted.  Maybe that will teach Dad to go the gym with Mom – he’s always complaining he needs to get in better shape anyway.

I’m the King of the Chairs

Let’s face it – I like to be in charge – in charge of the house, where I sit, and my food.  Mom and Dad think they are in charge but it’s just a figment of their imaginations.  Mom had a long day and Dad was at school so I just decided to consume her entire evening and get into everything.  The highlight of the night was when part of the sheet rock in the ceiling came tumbling down and I tried to eat it.

Mom ran after me to get it and unfortunately caught up with me.  After that she put me in my crate till Dad got home.  I guess we need home repairs but I think I’m eating up the budget with my huge appetite!

Mom was GONE and Dad Irritated Me

Mom had to go away AGAIN to Kansas City.  I have no idea where that is but it was something to do with beef –  I think it’s similar to the Bully Sticks Mom buys me when she wants me to behave.

I don’t like it when Mom is gone since I have no schedule – I have to get my OWN vitamin off the counter, I can’t get in to the refrigerator to get my fish oil and yogurt and Dad is busy using that big black box to take pictures…I can’t figure out why he takes so many pictures – who needs them anyway?
Since Dad was not paying enough attention to ME and working with Uncle Andrew on pictures AGAIN I showed him.  I stole his “prop” as he calls it since it is my favorite food with the crowns and ran to the couch.  I love it when he chases me but this time he just followed me with the black box.  Later on I stole the toilet paper and shredded it and THAT got his attention.
The game was not over since he put the controller thing on me so after he took it off I went and hid it.  Thank goodness Mom came home last night.  I heard Dad has to work all weekend so maybe I can terrorize her while she’s trying to unpack.  After all, I’m puppy Perry and that’s what puppies do best.

I Don’t Like my Gentle Leader

There is this thing the parental units place on my face to “calm me down”.  At first they tried to put it on my face and go on a walk.  Well I taught them something…I just laid down and rolled in the street.  This infuriated dad but hey I know I can push the boundaries and I thought I would win.

Then the face controller thing started to appear when I wanted to play and get a rile out of them.  It made me crazy as I wanted to play and this inconvenient apparatus attached to my face was not only annoying but just not right. Then they started putting that thing on my face when people came to the house.  It makes me all calm and collect as dad said…almost like a valium…whatever that is???   Well I thought I would teach them a thing or two so now I just played woe is me so they will eventually feel bad (cuz I can put on the sad eyes) and take it off.

Tonight I pouted, went into my cage and pretended to have a melt down.  Somehow the pity party did not work but I finally got them to take it off due to good behavior.  Payback is coming tomorrow..

Even with Being Fabulous and Popular I still have a Nemesis

Today with an interesting day.  It first started out with a brisk walk and lots of fetch time all before 9 in the morning.  I thought “WHAT is going on?”  Then I heard the parental units talking about trying to tire me out before my “appointment” at the Doggie Day Care.

I was going to have a behavioral assessment and Dad was wanted me to pass.  We then rode in the car and went to this new place where they had 2 sides:  one for little purse dogs and puppies and one for big dogs.  Dad said to put me with the big dogs since I’m almost 40 pounds and then he left.  I had fun time and then after 2 hours he picked me up.  BUT I did something good since I got an award and was “approved” to come back.  Boy, I sure fooled them.

When I got home I was so proud, strutting my stuff in the yard.  AND then all of a sudden, IT appeared.  That little thing running back and forth on the fence flicking it’s tail and taunting me.  I’m calling that thing PITA….you know pain in the ….

Well, after barking and screaming at the thing it would not move and was beyond frustrating.  Dad said I was not living up to my certificate of good behavior and took me inside since I was becoming his PITA.  Another day, another adventure….

They call me MISCHEVIOUS

I know where I’m supposed to be and what to do but I know have options – I can behave and the house will be calm and boring. OR I can go where I know I’m not allowed and pick up things I’m not supposed to and Mom and Dad will run after me or chase me off the furniture – it’s SO much more fun!

Yesterday I took Mom’s underwear and ran in the back yard – both Mom and Dad were trying to get me and I just ran around and around till they gave up. Eventually Mom got her underwear back.  Today I decided it was “couch” time – so I jumped up on the couch.  I know I can go to the comfy chair but it’s just no fun since I’m already allowed there.

This afternoon I decided to take one of Dad’s plants out of the pot and run around the yard with the pot.  Dad had to lay down since he had a headache.  Maybe I’m tiring them out too much.  I’d better behave tonight or else dinner may be late.  They have to remember I’m just a puppy but I guess I have to remember they are not spring chickens…

I Try to Balance my Protein and Veggies

 

I tried to be a vegetarian westside dog but I just couldn’t do it.  Mom gets this BIG box every other Wednesday with lots of yummy fruits and veggies from a man named Ben from Hello Harvest.  He’s really nice and drives this BIG truck from Santa Barbara just to bring us a box and maybe a few other people but I don’t know much about that.

 

 

I got into the box this week and ate a few carrots but they were not my favorite.  Dad got frustrated with my trying to chew everything in the house so he bought me this bone – So yummy and he was happy since it took me hours to get all the protein off of it – maybe I’ll get another one soon.

It’s not Separation Anxiety – I’m just spoiled

Dad thought I had “separation anxiety”  since I whine, and howl when left alone.  Mom got on that machine she looks at and found out I’m just spoiled.

Uncle Pat and Auntie Dianne told Mom to buy me a Monster Mouth from dogs.com.  It’s okay but I get bored with in 5 minutes.  They thought it would be a good babysitter for me but boy were they mistaken.  I can get the kibble out in a few minutes.

Mom also bought me a new dish called Store-N-Feed, which I actually like since I can get my food easier, even with the ball they put in the center to try to slow me down.  The new bowl is supposed to help my digestion, but I don’t know what they are so concerned about since I eat all the yummy things in the  backyard.  Rocks and gravel are my second favorites.  My first favorite this week is gnawing on the back of the rugs.  Did you know that you can rip the trim on the bottom side of the rug off in one long piece, and it makes a great leash to bring out in the back yard?  I’m having so much fun.

Those books were right – I can destroy a room in 5 minutes – I wish they’d just leave me alone and let me do that – they are always on me – help!