Chaos Is My Middle Name

photoAgain Mom had one of her trainings in Motivational Interviewing for LA Best Babies this last Friday.  I was bummed out because I was not able to be the greeter, as we all know I do flawlessly.  I ended up spending the day at The Wags Club.

But that is not the half of this week’s plight people!

Here’s the rundown:  on Thursday night we were all getting ready for bed.  I am growing up so after I go outside to do my nightly business I come back in and hang out in the living room.  The parentals no longer tell me to get in my bed.  Really what happens is they go to bed and shut off the lights.  I get scared and come into the room and crawl into my bed all by myself.

Well you will not believe what happened!  Mom was washing her face and Dad and I were almost asleep.  Mom came into the room and woke Dad up saying someone was trying to get in the front door.   Of course curmudgeon Dad responds with no worries – the alarm is on.  Then all of a sudden there was a loud noise.  I was not having that and ran out of the room with Dad in tow.

Dad looked out the window and can you believe who was there?  CHRISTMAS KITTY!  I cannot believe that thing was back and I was not happy because Dad felt sorry for the flea infested thing and went outside to feed it.  I went crazy and am still upset with him.

Upset to the point I was holding a grudge and knew I had to pay him back.  We all know that it is getting darker earlier as the season changes.  We really do not have seasonal changes in LA, but during the wintertime I get up earlier and this morning was no exception.  Of course Dad likes to have Mom have a chance to sleep in a little bit.  But not this morning…

Squeaky squirrel was outside my bedroom window squeaking away.  I had to get outside and so I faked Dad out.  Got outside and he ran to the trees, and next thing you know I am barking full force at 6:30 AM Sunday…why you ask?  Two reasons, the squirrel instigated it and all people need to be on my time!

Low and behold the day of rest turned into a fiasco!  Next the dog from down the street got all in my front yard, which caused me to freak out.  Then Dad is outside once again trying to save another animal.  Then he brings Kojo into the backyard but I was not having any of this.  I was barking, Mom was trying to sleep and Dad was attempting to be a humanitarian.  Needless to say Mom got up and was outside in her PJ’s helping Dad since I had poor “play date behavior.”

Yep – you guessed it.  I got a big “time out,” but right now I am doing pretty good.  Mom is making more cookies for the gluten-free cookbook so that makes everything better, especially since I get to eat all the crumbs that fall on the floor.  I’m excited since my dog cookie is due to be made next weekend so stay tuned!

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I’m a Motivational Interviewing Greeter

photo-1Hello my name is Perry!

That’s right folks – I am now officially a greeter.  Though I did not get a cool vest like the greeters at Wal-Mart, I am still greeting.

Mom had a Motivational Interviewing workshop at our office yesterday and I got to welcome all the participants.  Of course I was on my bestest behavior the entire time.  I know how to have on my game face and etiquette.

I know this because when I am being polite, people compliment me on how regal and mellow I am.  Then I look at the parentals, who secretly give each other an eye roll and just laugh.  Remember, I am a show dog but at home I let my hair down.

Anyway- after the meet and greet Dad took me to the Wags because he was making the food for the meeting.  No matter how I tried to give him the sad eyes he would not let me stay home.  I am good in the kitchen and my counter surfing is getting better.  However, when Dad catches me trying to counter surf it is not his inside voice and I know I am in trouble.  I did steal a whole cube of butter last week so now that is never left out.

The rest of my week was pretty chill.  My “friend,” the squeaky squirrel, is still getting on my last nerve.  He gets me into trouble most days.  He waits in the trees on the branches and chirps at me when he wants me to bark.  Of course his favorite time to play is 6 am.  Dad just goes crazy so maybe I should put him in the crate so I can terrorize the neighborhood with my booming voice.

The best news…Christmas Kitty has not been back and that folks is a Christmas miracle.

OK, have to take a little catnap so bye for now.

Perry

Christmas Kitty…I think not!

photo-1So I have been hearing Dad ramble incessantly about the fact that I am the last and only animal he will have.  Well duh…of course because I am just the perfect canine and there could be no other…

OK, back to our story.  Dad recently confessed that the only other animal he would consider would be if an orange, short hair kitty showed up at Christmas.  Like Santa is going to bring a cat that specific? Well a few months back we almost had a fright.

Dad found this little toothless kitty in the front yard.  Of course he just could not help himself and gave the thing a can of tuna…WHAT!

I have yet to have a whole can of tuna to myself.  It did not show up for a few weeks and I thought we were safe.  Then, a couple of weeks ago Dad heard it again and of course had to make me crazy by once again giving it food.

He started calling it “ The Christmas Kitty” and I panicked but it went away.

Then last week that Christmas nightmare came back, and was all up in Dad’s Kool-Aid.  It was throwing itself at Dad and I was not happy about it.

I was pacing and trying to pull the blinds off the windows.  “HE IS MY DAD, YOU HAIR BALL OF A MESS”.  It was not good people.

Well, Mr. Christmas Kitty decided to hang out in the driveway – just licking himself and I was not happy – this is my property, my parents and my house.

Mom eventually got home and I felt safe.  Of course she would not take my side and make the Christmas enemy go away.  Dad then called her outside and shut the door.  I immediately ran and slammed my face through the blinds and saw that Mr. Kitty was in the neighbors yard.  Can you believe it started rubbing up against Mom and she actually liked it!

Oh no!  Christmas is here to stay and I feel like I got some coal.

Low and behold Dad thought it would be brilliant to bring me out to see Christmas Kitty.  HA! I showed all of them who is in control and started having a barking fit and tried to chase that hairball away.  Christmas hissed, and I chased it while the parentals were in tow yelling at me.

I told them I would fix it right and that I did.  Christmas won’t be sauntering around my territory again.  I am sure I scared it all the way to the North Pole.  Merry Christmas Kitty and Happy New Year away from Santa Monica.

Perry goes to the Verizon Store

IMG-20130803-00023Hello People…

This was no ordinary week.  Like them all we are busy around here but it only gets exciting for me when I get to go out in the world and share it with all of you.

So much has happened this weekend.  First we had to go to the Verizon store on 26th and Wilshire to get Mom’s phone fixed.  The twitter was not working and she needs that to keep all her followers informed of important nutritional information.  I’m not sure what tweeting is but I know I’m involved somehow and that’s all that is important about it.

Mike at the Verizon store was very nice to me and gave me the deserving attentions and affections, which are mandatory in my presence.

Next I was allowed to go on sort of date night with Mom and Dad.  Mom continues to do food reviews and there is a cool new Hawaiian atmosphere burger joint in Sunset Park area called Shaka Shack Burger.  They are known for their grass-fed burgers, which I know are higher in omega 3’s  – you all know I take my fish oil religiously which is why my coat stays so shiny.  Dad stayed outside with me and Mom ordered their food.  We hung out outside as I was getting pets and listening to Hawaiian music.  The best part was when the owner gave me a high value snack…BACON.

photo-1After all this excitement we came home and just crashed watching some TV.  Of course I pushed the parental units out-of-the-way and got the big chair to myself.  I would say it was just about the perfect day….