I’m Finally out of Jail and I Almost got a sister

So the mask came off yesterday but I was a little too excited with my freedom.  I immediately ran in the back yard and decided to eat rocks again.  Dad was not too thrilled and put my mask on for a period of time today which seemed like forever.

Mom had to go to get me some treats at the dog store and saw a little 12 week old black and white kitty who needed adopting and was VERY tempted to bring her home.  Dad thought I might hurt her – WHEW  – that was a close one.  I want the house and my parents ALL to myself since I am the epitome of narcissism.  I want all the attention on me and when I am not getting it I go find something I’m not supposed to, steal it, and run in the back yard.

Mom and Dad are a little sick of this behavior and may step up the “training” as they call it.

I was a little excited about getting a sister – just think about all the “almond roca”  at my disposal from the cat box – maybe I should consider sharing after all….

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I’m ALMOST There

I have one more day to freedom.  My scar is healing nicely and I am driving Mom and Dad NUTS with having to lay low and be “contained” by the apparatus. Dad had to put band-aids on the controller mask since I got a little sore from wearing it.

When Dad took off the mask tonight for dinner I was a good boy and ate my little crowns which Mom calls broccoli.

After dinner I decided to bug them as much as possible and pounce on them while they are eating to get more attention.  However, I  get the most attention when I saunter by them and body slam myself to the floor.  Mom says I’ the drama King.  However, while she was writing the blog for me I put my head in her lap since I love it when she rubs my head and ears – that’s the best.  I know when to behave – it’s just whether I choose to do it.

This is What Happens when the Silence of the Lamb Mask Comes off

So I’ve had the contraption on most of the day.  Dad decided he was feeling sorry for me so he took it off.  I was busily chewing on my bone and while Dad was taking time to talk to Mom I snuck to the back of the house and found the bathroom door left open – I was SOOO happy – my favorite fiber was left unattended.  I was let out of jail – and we know that payback’s a …..

So then Dad puts the contraption back on my face so as he was trying to fall asleep I decided to body slam him to the mattress.  As he was screaming for Mom to help she said “see I told you he knows the difference between his bed and our bed.”   She’s smarter than us boys.

Woe is ME!

I am not happy.  I’ve tried to put up with all these contraptions and make everyone feel sorry for me and it is just not working.  I believe I have 5 more days of having this THING on my face.  I’m halfway through it but it’s not helping me in any way.

Dad felt sorry for me while he was making his lunch today so he took it off for a few minutes – I took my chance and pulled his whole sandwich off the table – tuna/avocado and all – so I had to go back to the constraints.  I overheard them talking last night about how much calmer I am with the contraption ON and perhaps they should incorporate it regularly in the house.  Really….could that be happening…is this some sort of nightmare?

When I got up this morning I tried to give Dad some extra LEAN-IN’s but Mom said that was not a good idea since I might get used to being in their bed.  Dad said Perry is smart enough – he knows the difference between his bed and our bed.  Mom said – yes, he knows the difference and there lies the problem so here I am in the corner giving myself a time out.

First they Take My Manhood and Now This

Well I found it kind of odd that Dad started covering all the wood furniture in the house.  Apparently my plastic collar is hurting the house so Dad was grumbling about spending his retirement to get me more stuff at the store.

I am not happy with this setup either.  I can’t chew bricks, take shoes outside and I am REALLY upset that the toilet paper is out of my reach.  They are taking ALL my fun away!  I feel like I should put this on HIS face.

I look like a stupid football linebacker.  Tomorrow I’ll probably have kneepads.  I’ll keep you posted but this surgery thing has really put a wrench in my healthy lifestyle.

I am NOT a Happy Camper

And neither are Mom and Dad.  I overheard Dad say I’m walking around like a drunk teenager.  This stupid thing keeps hitting up against everything and I am NOT happy about having it on.  Mom said she may not survive this but I’m the ONE whose having to deal with a contraption on my head – it’s not fair.  First they cut into my body and now they expect me to wear this hard hat for 10 days!  I can’t run, walk without being on my leash, go potty without being supervised – NO freedom in this house.

I already broke the hat and Dad put some duck tape on it.  Maybe if I break it again I’ll be free for the next 10 days.

I heard Dad ask the vet if there was Valium – not sure if it was for me or for him….S

I am OUT of Control

Mom and Dad are not so happy with me tonight.  I overheard them saying they can’t wait till I get clipped this Tuesday – not sure what that means but hopefully it’s good.

I am very tall now so nothing is out of my reach.  I even got the bananas tonight which were WAY up on the counter – Dad was not so happy since he eats one a day.

Dad was carefully putting in receipts from the trip today and he had a phone call so I decided to take the opportunity to mess up all his work – he was really mad and called Mom.  His patience is wearing so he had Mom deal with me tonight.  I figured I’d better obey so when I stole the TV remote for the 5th time she told me to drop it and I did.  There are WAY too many rules around here.  I should have the run of the house and I’m big enough now to have it – I just have to get Mom and Dad on board.